Home » General Discussions » General Discussion » OT: Adult Fairy Tales
| OT: Adult Fairy Tales [message #52622] |
Fri, 24 October 2003 18:10  |
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K9Trooper
Messages: 821
Registered: February 2003
Karma:
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Colonel |
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An email I got today. Enjoy  
>Subject: Adult Fairy Tales
>
>CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let
>her.
>As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and
>promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball,
>but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
>Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
>"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into
>a pumpkin."
>Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m.! The appointed hour comes and
>goes,
>and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella
>shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
>"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was
>supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
>" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
>The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
>Tell me his name!" Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, ..
>Peter, Peter, something or other..."
>___________________________________________
>
>PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
>splinters when they were having sex.
>Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
>Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and
>Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw
>Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the
>girlfriend?"
>Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
>_____________________________________________
>
>
>LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the
>Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
>throat,
>said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
>To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and
>pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not.
>You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
>____________________________________________
>
>
>MICKEY and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to
>Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
>Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy."
>___________________________________________
>
>
>SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind
>him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying,
>"Lie to me! Lie to me!"
>___________________________________________
>
>
>Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
>____________________________________________
>
>
>One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and
>during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have
>sex.
>"What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said,
>"Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said,
>" Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly.
>" She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs.
>"Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
>Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an
>almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony.
>Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
>"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan
>
R.I.P. TreyD. You will be missed, but not forgotten.
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