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Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! [message #5084]

Mon, 10 March 2003 15:20

Krazyfoxx
Messages: 194
Registered: February 2003
Location: WV

Karma:

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KIRBY098

Redneck Engineering Exam

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?
8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?

Answers (not really fair since I'm from West Virginia):
1. Too much math, gives me a headache!
2. That's easy, always the Ford.
3. 20 gallons, HooWee! Thats a big still. I spect it would take at least a dozen (Chevy radiators mind you, if you use Fords beter figure a couple more).
4. Simple, two per tree.
5. What ozone layer?
6. All of them (trick question huh?).
7. Take a hell of alot of cinder blocks, but yea, no problem.
8. Again with math! Argh!
9. Camels? Only rich folk smoke camels.
10. Normally 2, but if they don't catch on you can take a machette and lob a couple of their feet off. I know, it sounds mean but really its for their own good.

Semper Fi

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[Message index]

		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: KIRBY098 on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:08
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: dead4ayear2 on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:10
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: Kingdud on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:10
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: Sk8rRIMuk on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:11
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: KIRBY098 on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:12
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: KIRBY098 on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:19
		Re: Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: Jarhead on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:22
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: K9Trooper on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:23
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: Sk8rRIMuk on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:23
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: KIRBY098 on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:27
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: John Shaft Jr. on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:30
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: K9Trooper on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:34
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: KIRBY098 on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:40
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: John Shaft Jr. on Mon, 10 March 2003 14:51
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: K9Trooper on Mon, 10 March 2003 15:05
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: Krazyfoxx on Mon, 10 March 2003 15:20
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: Gizbotvas on Mon, 10 March 2003 16:36
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: Sir Phoenixx on Mon, 10 March 2003 16:43
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: Sk8rRIMuk on Mon, 10 March 2003 16:56
		Cheeseheads, BEWARE!!! By: dead4ayear2 on Mon, 10 March 2003 17:53

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