| Crying [message #409837] |
Sun, 08 November 2009 12:36  |
_SSnipe_
Messages: 4121
Registered: May 2007
Location: Riverside Southern Califo...
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General (4 Stars) |
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Do you guy's believe, If you hold in your tears and not cry for a long period of time that it makes you stronger? I have a friend like that who she has not cried in years after all the hurtful stuff that's been happening in her life and im trying to convince her to do so.
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| Re: Crying [message #409855 is a reply to message #409846] |
Sun, 08 November 2009 14:51  |
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Altzan
Messages: 1586
Registered: September 2008
Location: Tennessee
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General (1 Star) |
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| CarrierII wrote on Sun, 08 November 2009 14:57 |
Crying is a natural expression of grief / sorrow, so if she's unhappy, and it's serious, than nothing wrong with crying. That being said, crying too much is probably a fault.
Thread over? (This post is so flame-bait)
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I cannot imagine how the clockwork of the universe can exist without a clockmaker. ~Voltaire
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| Re: Crying [message #409872 is a reply to message #409860] |
Sun, 08 November 2009 18:57 |
_SSnipe_
Messages: 4121
Registered: May 2007
Location: Riverside Southern Califo...
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General (4 Stars) |
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| Chew wrote on Sun, 08 November 2009 14:48 |
Does she say why she doesn't cry? Does she seem emotionally upset, like show it some other way?
Could you elaborate possibly on the "hurtful things" in her life?
Many people are different, and some are only known to cry a couple times by relatives and close friends... normally relating to death of people and/or pets.
Also, without trying to be rude... how close are you with her? Are you trying to get closer?
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She wont open up much, but basically family problems and boy problems and even major shit, she just holds it all in thinking its making her stronger
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| Re: Crying [message #409887 is a reply to message #409837] |
Sun, 08 November 2009 20:42 |
masterkna
Messages: 69
Registered: October 2008
Location: The Abyss, NY
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Recruit |
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here's a question: is it possible to lose the ability to cry? i've lost several aunts and uncles in the past few years + all the stress with somethings in my own personal life, yet i am unable to shed a tear, despite tries..
 | GEORGE ZIMMER wrote on Wed, 26 August 2009 |
Then again, banning anyone for anything automatically makes you a biased prick who shouldn't be a moderator.
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lol
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| Re: Crying [message #409937 is a reply to message #409887] |
Mon, 09 November 2009 04:48 |
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ErroR
Messages: 2984
Registered: March 2008
Location: Moldova
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General (2 Stars) |
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| masterkna wrote on Mon, 09 November 2009 05:42 |
here's a question: is it possible to lose the ability to cry? i've lost several aunts and uncles in the past few years + all the stress with somethings in my own personal life, yet i am unable to shed a tear, despite tries..
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try onion  sorry couldn't resist  ; you could try talking to someone, maybe a friend or a relative, or maybe a psychologist
ontopic: i have to agree with Slade, i don't think holding everything inside would do any good, you should cry if you feel to, it's natural, and if you cry or don't doesn't make you strong/weak at all imo.
[Updated on: Mon, 09 November 2009 04:56] Report message to a moderator |
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| Re: Crying [message #409996 is a reply to message #409837] |
Mon, 09 November 2009 13:42 |
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luv2pb
Messages: 1488
Registered: February 2004
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General (1 Star)
Not everything is as it appears
Untouchable |
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Just tell her tears make the best lube!
N00bstories Director Of Operations
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| Re: Crying [message #410006 is a reply to message #409837] |
Mon, 09 November 2009 14:33 |
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NukeIt15
Messages: 987
Registered: February 2003
Location: Out to lunch
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Colonel |
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The longer you hold it in, the worse it is when you let it out. If you hold it in for too long, you might just find that you no longer can let it out without help. I've been there, and it sucks a whole lot worse than someone seeing you get teary when you realize that you can't even express natural, rational grief without someone or something to knock down the walls for you. It took counseling and several very good friends to start putting things right, and I'm still a long ways away from where I think I need to be.
In other words, yes- you can lose the ability to express strong emotions. Emotional self-control is a useful ability, and it's come in handy for me many times, but if taken too far it will ruin you. Great for avoiding hurtful confrontations and preventing you from losing your temper... not so great when you have something that needs to come out but can't because you've forgotten how to let it. And yes, there are specific examples behind that- just nothing I'd want to share here.
Far better to be seen as "weak" than to try to be too strong.
"Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property. Horrid mischief would ensue were (the law-abiding) deprived of the use of them." - Thomas Paine
Remember, kids: illiteracy is cool. If you took the time to read this, you are clearly a loser who will never get laid. You've been warned.
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| Re: Crying [message #410213 is a reply to message #409837] |
Wed, 11 November 2009 03:30 |
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Dave Anderson
Messages: 1953
Registered: December 2004
Location: United States
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General (1 Star) |
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I do not cry. Ask anyone who knows me: parents, siblings, friends. I simply do not and have not cried in the past 5 years or so. (I'm 19). My motto? If something bad happens, deal with it. Suck it up and move on. I do not cry when someone dies, I do not cry when something bad happens. This is my personality.
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But the reality of it is, anyone who has this personality (seems like your friend), simply, is lying. I bottle everything up, all the time. I never talk about my problems, but I am also one of the most outgoing and happy individuals anyone knows. What they don't know is that when I turn my back, I'm not that same individual. It's a pretty great facade to a couple things that have happened to me in the past.
Your friend, may be the same way, I don't know. All I know is people with a similar personality usually tend to work things out on their own, and are better left alone. If people try to tell me how to handle my emotions/life, I basically tell them to get the hell away from me (in a nice manner of course, but that's how I mean it).
When I do lose it: It's bad. Run. Luckily, these things never happen. I usually just brush everything off.
I agree with some people here though. Bottling things up over the years, I think I have lost the ability to express certain emotions. I don't feel sympothy/empathy for people who have lost loved ones, when something bad happens to them, or anything really. I don't know why, honestly.
The good part is in the past year or so I've gotten over those couple of things that had bothered me so much, so I'm not really that way anymore.
Depression is a bad thing, and I spent a lot of money on repairing things I broke from losing my temper/cool. It wasn't fun - at all -
David Anderson
Founder, Software Consultant
DCOM Productions
Microsoft Partner (MSP)
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| Re: Crying [message #410316 is a reply to message #410213] |
Wed, 11 November 2009 15:39 |
_SSnipe_
Messages: 4121
Registered: May 2007
Location: Riverside Southern Califo...
Karma: 0
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General (4 Stars) |
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| Dave Anderson wrote on Wed, 11 November 2009 02:30 |
I do not cry. Ask anyone who knows me: parents, siblings, friends. I simply do not and have not cried in the past 5 years or so. (I'm 19). My motto? If something bad happens, deal with it. Suck it up and move on. I do not cry when someone dies, I do not cry when something bad happens. This is my personality.
.
.
.
But the reality of it is, anyone who has this personality (seems like your friend), simply, is lying. I bottle everything up, all the time. I never talk about my problems, but I am also one of the most outgoing and happy individuals anyone knows. What they don't know is that when I turn my back, I'm not that same individual. It's a pretty great facade to a couple things that have happened to me in the past.
Your friend, may be the same way, I don't know. All I know is people with a similar personality usually tend to work things out on their own, and are better left alone. If people try to tell me how to handle my emotions/life, I basically tell them to get the hell away from me (in a nice manner of course, but that's how I mean it).
When I do lose it: It's bad. Run. Luckily, these things never happen. I usually just brush everything off.
I agree with some people here though. Bottling things up over the years, I think I have lost the ability to express certain emotions. I don't feel sympothy/empathy for people who have lost loved ones, when something bad happens to them, or anything really. I don't know why, honestly.
The good part is in the past year or so I've gotten over those couple of things that had bothered me so much, so I'm not really that way anymore.
Depression is a bad thing, and I spent a lot of money on repairing things I broke from losing my temper/cool. It wasn't fun - at all -
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With her she acts happy but pretty much is just putting on a front, and she almost crys but holds it in, Not like what you do
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