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When you know you've been playing too much Renegade. [message #152003]

Thu, 28 April 2005 13:22

WNxCABAL
Messages: 1391
Registered: July 2004

Karma: 0

General (1 Star)

Now this is an old one. nearly 2 years old in fact.
I got these off the old moonlightshakers forum ages ago and saved them to my HD rotting away.

ENJOY!

1. You hear of several unexplained deaths on the news and you immediatly run 2 ur local police station 2 report a possible stealth tank presence.

2. U see a bad driver or some1 behaving stupidly and u call them a n00b and all ur frends give u questioning looks.

3. U feel something brush u and u run home shouting "SBH INC" all the way.

4. U drive up the motorway and feel the urge 2 fire but when you push the horn button no shell comes out?!

5. U see a caravan and some tents beside and go up 2 them and call them n00b campers!

6. Had too much to drink? --> blame it on lag

7. Ask your wife to "repair your mammoth"

8. Staring out of the window when you suddenly see something across the street and you duck away because you think you are being sniped

9. You're dreaming of being a stealth to see hotwire taking a shower with sakura

10. U stand in front of ur car and u press E to enter the car but u cant get in. Then u think 1 of ur neigbours shout at u to commit suicide. And u throw urself in front of a car.

11. Chasing ur girlfriend (wife) with a water pistol the whole day because u fink she is hotwire.

12. you are trying to steal other peoples cars

13 When ur mom asks you to put out the trash you ask for a heli transport

14 You try to disarm the waterboiler

15 You kick the shit out of the mailman thinking he was trying to mine your mailbox

16. You stand infront of ur garage and wonder why the med tank you just bawt hasnt come out yet.

17. U go bak 2 a PT 2 check your creds

18. The sky goes red in the evening sunset or its starts 2 rain and u immediatly look around for becons 2 disarm.

19. U ask ur wife/girlfriend 2 suck ur Ramjet

20. When u drive around 2 someones house 2 pick them up u continuously repeat "Get in the Vehicle"

21: you are walking on the gass and suddenly start screemin "arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! it burns it burns!!!!!!"

22: you store grass in your garage hoping it will turn in to money

23: You walk into the middle of an army camp thinking noone can see you

24. At night you sneek into a military base stealing an empty apc and go driving around trying to squash the soldiers that are coming out after the alarm has gone off.

25. When your getting robbed and the guy thats robbing you points a gun at your face, you start screaming: "Watch where your pointing that!!"

26. You go buy a gun and try to shoot all windows with it.

27. After you've been to a party and your friend is driving, you start screaming: "You drive like a drunk!!!"

28. As you begin to walk into your house you cautiously peer around the corner to look for proximity mines

29. you hide behind a rock every something is coming against you, in the belief that its trying to kill you

30. U die ur hair white and put on a lab coat and run around with a laser pen making electricity noises.

31. U paint a kettle silver and put it on the floor, 30 seconds ltr expecting an ion cannon strike on your front lawn.

32. Everytime someones watch beeps you scream: DISARM THAT BEACON!!

33. When someone asks for a confirmation of you, you go controle-7, controle-7!.

34. When you're out at a date, you keep running threw the doors, thinking you just sacrificed yourself, so the hotty behind you can plant C4 on the MCT.

35. when your in town you run around looking for Stealthsoldiers

36. you keep saying Enemy Spotted, when u see black people(not racist ment )

37. Instead of swearing u start saying "W-T-F" and "F-F-S" and u dnt laugh u say "LOL"

38. While passing the motorbike shop in town u suggest a recon rush 2 ur frends.

39. When u get to the airport for your holiday, you immediatly search around for the MCT.

40.Believing youve found the MCT you place pretend c 4 on the check-in desk.

41. After a BJ the spunk hits the girl in da face and you scream "HEADSHOT"

42: you pick up a can of deoderant tke of the lid and place it on the floor expecting a nuclear strike in your bathroom.

43: A car drive past the front of your house and you run out with pretend C4 screaming "Destroy that vehicle!!!!!"

44: There is a power cut and you stand at your local powerstation with a water pistol shouting "building needs repair" and making high pitched beem noises

45. When you see someone get out of their car to go shopping you immediately shout "Get in the vehicle" in case there are any SBH around

46. When you got no money you go outside and start throwing stuff at cars to get money.

47. when you see people get out of the cars u hurry an get in the car and drive home to your "base"

48. Ur a little low on cash so u simply unload ur supersoaker on the nearest person in red 2 gain credits.

49. U wonder why all the cars arent retro hippy colours after u added that very skin 2 ur data directory that morning.

50. Ur car crashes and instead of calling 999 (or ne other emergency number) u Shout "MEDIC"

51. Ur in a waterfight and u lose because u were spraying everywhere in search of SBH.

52: You walk upto your fridge and wonder why you can't select havoc even though you have enough 'credits'

53: You start walking backwards into your friends house hoping the obilisk will not shoot you.

54. Ur in a nightclub and u wonder y ur the only 1 in there carrying a gun around believing its a dethmatch.

55. U now worship kane instead of god.

56. U get to the checkout at Tesco and ask 2 upgrade 2 a Mobius

56:once the police allow you to travel on your holiday after trying to destroy the airport, when you arive at the island u are staying at you get off you staryt running around the runway ordering stank ruhes believeing there is a GDI base on the next island.

57: You are confused when the plane lands and doesnt drop of your stank which you ordered from the chreckout 2 minutes ago.

58. You sit in your car at the petrol station screaming 'I need repairs'.

59. You get arrested for placing a beer can on runway no.1 at Heathrow and running away shouting 'Defend that beacon'.

60. Your sat at the side of the road after being hit by another car and you find yourself shouting for an Engineer to repair the dent in the side of your vehicle.

61. You get arrested for running people over in your car whilst repeatedly making 'Boink' noises.

62. You take a handfull of green crystals to your local car showroom and demand a stealth tank, then stand outside looking at the skies waiting for it to arrive.

63. You see a funeral procession coming towards you and run around wildy screaming 'Enemy spotted' & 'Defend the base'.

64. Your wife gets in the car b4 you and you start shouting 'Get out of the vehicle' whilst shooting at the car.

64. Its your birthday and yer dad comes in saying "ive got a present for ya" and you ask him if hes a gdi commando.

65. You place mines on the front and back doors of your house so no infadels may infiltrate your base

66. You press the on button ony ou tv remote to try detonate your c4 you set on the neighbours base

67. U are confused when caught trying 2 enter the local power station coverd in tin foil.

68. Instead of writing ur name on ur homewrk u write "In the name of Kane"

69. U put lots of computer monitors around the house saying they are PT's.

70. U go into an antiques shop and place your mobile fone on a pedestal expecting the game 2 end.

71. People look at you strangley in the mornings when u go outside 2 place timed c4 on the rubbish collection lorry and start tring to hold off the dustbin men.

72. You walk into the local Accident & emergency hospital and start shining a torch at all the patients whilst making a buzzing sound and telling them to 'Move out'.

73. When your alarm clock beeps in the morning and you tumble out of bed to check if someone has placed a nuke on the Pedistal.

74. When you're lookning for a PT in order to buy groceries.

75. When you stop using regular light bulbs and go for the red-tinted ones instead.

76. When you wonder why the doors in your house doesn't automatically open for you after banging head-first into them repeatedly.

77. When you start talking to your wrist watch, shouting at EVA to G*d d*mn respond or you'll pull the plug on her when you get back home.

78: You are on holiday and you walk past an all you can eat buffet and you hear the words "Keep 'em comin'!" and you run inside with a machine gun searching for enemy soldiers.

79: You find your self stood on top of a large rock trying to pick people off with an air rifle.

80. When you feel ill you stand infront of a mirror pressing the 5 key and wonder why you're not getting better.

81: You suddenly hear a car engine start and you jump out of bed looking for your machine gun (harvy at start of games)

82: You hear the words "unit ready" and run to your garage expecting an APC to appear

83: The fire alarm goes off because your food in the kitchen is burning and you run around the house screaming "nuke inc nuke inc destroy it now!!!"

84. U cut ur finger and insted of using a plaster, u fire at with a laser pen then tell urself 2 move out.

85. U see sum1 sitting down in their living room and call them "Base campers"

86. U find ur dads yellow tool box on the floor and steal it thinking its full of credits and ammo.

87. U start calling peopel n00bs and infadels and calling your friends "brothers" and saying In the name of Kane!

88. When driving on the freeway you see some dude driving slower than the other cars, so you start shouting: damn lagger!!!

89. When playing darts with your friends, someone throws a 180, you immediatly shout to him: cheater!! cheater!, you're using an aimbot!!

90. You walk into an Arcade hall and you're amazed how people play those games without a keyboard and a mouse

91. When seeing some kids outside playing with plastic waterpistols, you decide to join em, after they sprayed you all wet, you go back inside mumbling: damn n00bs

92. When playing football and ur in goal and u let the ball in, u expain to the team that u lagged and it wusnt ur fault.

93. While visiting the Grand Canyon, on ur arrival u immediatly look around for the local refinery.

94. When in a local depatment store u run 2 place c 4 on the glove rack believing its the Hand of Nod.

95. Ur at the zoo and begin squirting all the animals with ur water pistol believing them 2 be visceroids.

96. U spk 2 loud and your mother hears sumthin u didnt wnt her 2, and u think uv pressed F2 insted of F3.

97. U go to the bank for a loan but they refuse when u say its for a stank rush.

98. U put plates down in your doorway to warn you of the proximity of infadels.

99. You fantasise over hotwire, sakura, sydney 3some (thats disgraceful)

100. You ask several girls out and give them a home made repair gun, ramjet rifle and personal ion cannon and press alt+4 and ctrl+alt+5

101: you are awlking down the road with a friend and he sees something peculiar and stops dead and you start mumbling "fucking fps lag"

102: you are playing on a rock and fall off and start scream "FFS!!! i lagged off the rock again im fkin sick of this!!! :@"

103: you see a house that is on fire and start to run arounnd screaming "flamers inc flamers inc!!!!!! Defend the base!!! Building needs repair!! destroy that vehicle!"

104. When ur in a traffic jam and cant move, you immediately ask for a server restart.

105. Whenever you see a digital display you immediately try to check your FPS and Ping

106. You roll your car onto the roof and wait for it explode.

107. If u changing ur tyres then u keep moving around the car incase of snipers.

108. When getting in the car with a freind u ask him 2 press Q

109 On a job intervieuw the guy asks for your resume and you hand him a copy of the rankingslist

110 On the freeway you stick your head out of the window and say to the cars behind you follow me

111 You try to create a tiberium rifle in physics class

112 You whip out your willie and tell your girlfriend to hold position

113. every time u c a disaster in the television u suddenly shouting "building needs repair"

114. when u are out shopping u trie to get out with out paying becourse u think you are a SBH

115. and when the cops get there u keep asking how it is they can see u

116. When your in a chat or on msn you hit f2 before you write your message

117. When you're @ clothes store you ask the girl at the counter if they have stealth suites

118. when you and your gf go out and she is still fixing her self up you say "move out"

119. when some1 askes you to do some thing you say "affermative"

120. or "negative"

121. when you see someting far away you try to zoom in with your ramjet

122 You are righthanded but everytime you do something you say, that was lefthanded

123 You slap your grandmother in the face and call her a bigass bitch for staying idle in the kitchen

124 You try to check into a clinic by telling them that you have tiberium poisoning

125 You steal your brothers bike to do a recon mission of the city

126 You slap a 5 year old kid silly cuz hes believing in santa instead of kane

127. at work you have to explain something to a new guy but he doesn't understand and you call him "newbie"

128. 5 weeks later he still screws up now u call him N00B (atualy have some of those at my work )

129 You think Vibranium is an element of the periodic table

130: You are walkin by a mainroad and start ducking in case of snipers in the buildings

131: you are at the airport and park an unwanted car on the runwy and are afterwards wondering why it didnt blow until the plane hit it.

132: Hearing sounds from the game instead of the real one's..

133. U go to a clothing store and ask for a power suit.

134: you are watching a movie and you suddenly hear 'boink' sounds when people die

135. When your near a wall you press the f key hoping to change to third person mode so you can see around the corner.

136. when your in the hospital, you hope all those ppl in white cotes don't pull out there Electric guns (been playing for about 2 years but still don't know the name of that gun)

137. when u are in the lokal shop u ask for a chaingun

138. and a rocketluncher

139. and a sniper rifel

140. and some tiberium weapons

141. and some of those laser weapons

142. and a heli

143. and a humvee

144. and a med

145. U start pressing key commands 2 get stuff out. 1 for ur mobile fone, 2 for ur carkeys, 3 for wallet, and 4 for passport

146: You wonder why the police arent killing whilst you try to arm a nuclear strike can of coke

147: You get in a tight pants and tight t-shirt and you think you are hotwire

148: If someone ask you something you react with : ctrl-8 or ctrl-7 instead of affirmitive

149: You are at the farm off you grand-parents and you sneak to the neighbours to place some c4 on their powersuplybox

150: After that you kill them because you think they are disarming the c4

151: After that you run back to your grand-parents house and you kill the guests because you think they are laying c4 at the mct

152: You run outside to kill the police and get almost killed by them and you shout: "i need repair"

153. Instead of saying u need 2 go home u say i need 2 return 2 base.

154. U get lost in a maze and duck down incase Mendoza sees you frm his helipad.

155. You see a white guy wit really bad patchy sunburn and run because u believe hes the tiberium enhanced raveshaw and his umbrella is a railgun

156: after 4 weeks of hot summer you hear on the news that the powerstations can't supply much longer and you say "building needs repair"

157: At work a person comes in with a face that is a mix face of Dethpoet and Dethred and you think it's Kane

158: After a game of tennis you say to your m8 "GG" "sorry about the end-game beacon"

159: Everytime you close your eyes you see sakura making a hs again........ (happends to me allot)

160. Ur on holiday and wnt 2 take a Photo so u try and press "Print Screen"

161. Ur lost while on holiday and Try 2 press "M" to get a map.

162. Ur shopping and u press "O" 2 bring up ur list of items 2 get.

163. Your at work and suddenly you get the feeling there's something wrong with your house, so you type K to check it's status

164. Your playing renny all the freaking time and you never even get out the house! Your mother feeds you by injections cause you refuse to move from behind the computer. You use a chair which is adjustable so you can sleep and play renny at the same time, cause you think you're that damn good.

165. You're able to come up with 165 reasons that indicates you've been playing too much Renny lately...and counting.
166. You see a guy with a very large head and you wonder "Hmm am i a cheater "

167. You see a caravan of the brand "Dethleffs" and you mumble "Friggin faker" <-- this one really happened

168. When you hear a phone ring you immediately thinks it a beacon being planted and frantically shout "NUKE, NUKE!!!!!"

169: you are sat in your room and someone turns the tv in thenext room on really loud and you imediatly think you are in a nod detention camp

170: You lay dishes as mines on every step of your stairs so sbh cant nuke on roof.

171: the first thing you think about in the morning is defending the powerplant

172. Someone asks you for a drink and you say ctrl 7

173. You see a skoda and you shout out ... Ctrl 4 !!!

174. when u go to bed to make sure your room is mined proberly

175. When someone steals your car you immediately shout "Get Out of the Vehicle" only to see them drive off in it. Then you call to the host to kick the damn n00b.

176. when u see a person at the horizon u put up ur snipescope to see its allied or enemy

177. if u are passenger in vehicle u private message the driver to press Q

178. u join a party and u say: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

179. u girl-/boyfriend wants to go out with ya and u say: "the ref is gone i dont have enough credits to buy something!"

180. u have forgotten to clean ur bath before u left home to party when returning u see deostick at top of toilet u scream: "PED-NUKE!"

181. u wear a shirt with MVP on it

182. u stand in front of a police officer and u shout: "I need backup!"

183. u see a refuse collection and u shout: "Attack the harvester!"

184. a reason y u know ur a server admin is: a gay hits u from back and u shout:
"get out, or get kicked!"

185. u r at a football stadium and u type !showmods to see whos the referee

186. u r at a bus stop a crowded bus arrives and wont let u in u shout: "how much time remaining, till next bus!"

187. u undersign a document with ur WOL nick

188. u r at a footballstadium and u waving the moonlightshaker/DaDeth banner!

189. the last 13 post are from DethSilver

190. its ur favourit hobby beeing no1. at the spammer list

191. u open up a disco with name: carnage club extreme

192. if u cant do something right u blame urself as a n00b!

193. after fireing ur 32 shots in ur gf u say "baby, i need to reload!"

194. when u leave ur car u cover it with timed c4 against stealing

195. after a long long night at renny and u close ur eyes in bed and u still see the blue bullets from ramjet flying around ur head!

196. a girl asks u to go to bed with her and u do instead of

197. u shoot George w bush, cause u think its a cool new renny skin map

198. Your getting killed 2 much on SP and u keep trying 2 page the AI 2 find out where he got his Aimbot

199. You setup a clan which grows out up to 45 members including a community with over 2500 registered members + you are registered on over 20 forums all related to renegade.

200: you play so much renny you don't realise there's 46 member's in the clan you started

201. You've made your own Renegade merchandise (posters, mugs, coasters, stickers, buttons and so on), all of which say you're Renegade's biggest fan.

202. When crossing the street you strave over to avoid any vehicles.

203. Unfortunately for you, you don't avoid all vehicles. You get rushed to the hospital where you request to get some medikits.

204: You keep making posts on forums about renegade 2, even if its just to keep your own hope alive

205. You keep jumping around in the room when you hear gunshots coming from the tv.

206. Everytime you hear a chopper you hide for cover, cause you think its an apache

207. U tell ur friends ur gona take screenies of girls on holiday and pictures of those n00bs tht always try and play frisbee but always fail

208. u know all 2000 members by there forum and ingame name's

209. Your in a traffic jam when you get a phone call from your boss asking why you're not at work yet. You reply : "The traffic is lagging"

210: you put your cursor over sum1 to see there name

211: You guess how long it would take a hottie to repair every old looking vehicle you see on your way to town

212: When laying the table, the plates used at mines on your stairs dissapere

213: You start throwing CD's at people claiming to be a Disc thrower
From a Tiberian sun mod.

214: Someone is holding a tube of toblerone and you start attaking them
thinking its a low-poly gun.

215: You Put grey play-dough on your local petrol station's screen trying
to blow up the MCT at a WF.

216: You park your car in the middle of the road so that the Milkman's car
cant deliver its milk to your house and your mom starts shouting at
you for blocking the 'harvy'.

217: A blue neon sign starts flashing close to your face and you think
Someone is trying to shoot you with a ramjet rifle.

218: You use the Window wiper squirty thingies on ur car to shoot people
rapidly thinking you are in a humvee.

219.) When your in your car and it get stuck you ask your teamates to ram you hoping you get unstuck.

220.) You and your friend get in your van to go somewhere and you both start shouting..."Get in the Vehicle"

221: your back at work after over a week off, its the last hour before you go home, you the look at the clock and its only been 10mins..and you think "the clock's lagging"

222: you have a few to many beers, things start to go blury and you think its FPS lag

223. When you feel like banning your teacher from the classroom because he's a n00b

224. You start shouting "Attack the powerplant!" to the busdriver

225. U start downloading cheats from n00b sites and using them to destroy the game by getting 200 kills a game and 20 000 points. FUKIN N00bS!

226. You try and perform the !kick command when someone you dont like enters the room

227. You walk in to a bar and see some guys fighting, you hand em both a note saying: type !rules to see the bars rules.

228. You made your own gdi uniform.

229. Every other game you have, you are modding it into Renegade.

230. You reffitted your car with a turret and you can now controle it with a keyboard

231. When you get into Zag's refitted car you scream at him PRESS Q! so you can fire with the turret instead.

232. When you scream at Zag to press Q he repeatedly shouts Negative! cos he wants to fire the turret. The selfish ***

233 You scream at your drill instructor, cuz your sniper rifle doesn`t show enemy stats

234 You see a add saying: electrician wanted, bring your own powersuit
235 You go to your local paintshop, buy 50 cans of paint, and try to camouflage your house

236 You organize an attack with the neighbourhood kids on the local milktruck to cut off enemy supplies

237 After 2 years of 24/7 renegade, you`ve realized that not only alcohol ruines your life

238: You compare your processing speed at your new job with a workmate, find your slower and use the word "newbie" to explain why

239. You turn down the volume on yor TV so you can hear commands and incoming pages.

240. When your asked 2 write your name on an exam paper u write ur renny nickname.

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